art reception

Tonight was the reception for my art exhibit at the YMCA. It began snowing about 2 hours before and it is still snowing now, an hour after. With all of the handicaps that occurred, the very low turn out is not a surprise. There was a few employees of the Y stop by real quickly, a few people I work with and other than that, 4 people. Two were my parents and the other 2 were my parent's friends. I did NOT sell anything. I did get to bring home a pan of some very tasty brownies. Telling myself that it was enough to just regain my interest back seems foolish at this point. Yet, I have no other alternative now. It is over. Telling myself all along that that was enough limited me. I told myself and God and the Universe that was enough and that is all They gave me. Yes, I was being positive, but I limited myself. A friend of mine has asked me through all of this what she thought God might be telling me. Maybe latter I will know, but for now, I limited myself. Like I said, this was not about the money for me. However, if I do this again, I will make sure I place a little higher priority on the money. I spent a lot of money I do not have on frames and preparations.

Perhaps I should have waited to write this when I could be less...

More art and the Y

Wednesday night is the reception for my art exhibit at the YMCA. When I went tonight (Monday) to work-out, my invitations for the reception were setting on the counter. They had not been mailed yet and the art director told me they did not have any money for stamps. I told her I would give her the money, but she just walked off. I worked for the Post Office. I know that if they did not get to the Post Office, the main PO, by tonight that they would not get delivered until after the reception. There is a woman in my weight lifting class who’s husband had his show last year. She told me that they only had 10 people show-up even having their invitations were sent out on time. My weight lifting instructor told me she took them to the PO and mailed them tonight just before class. Now, they will be delivered on the same day of the reception. Who will come on at that short of a notice? I am disappointed in this whole art show thing and the art director. I have no idea why she waited until today to get them done. But, as I said, this was about me regaining my interest in my art and not about selling any of it.

Album list continued: “David Bowie-Diamond Dogs”

Any word that defines innovation and originality, insert it before David Bowie’s name to describe him or use them as verbs. This album was a step away from Ziggy Stardust and a time to reinvent himself. Reinvent is perhaps a poor choice of words but to continue to define himself and to express the depth of his talents. As the poem in the beginning of the album states, “This ain’t rock and roll; this is genocide.” This album is what is referred to as a “concept album.” A “concept album” has a main theme that it follows and a story that usually makes a statement about society. Often, the album’s songs and music are in a beginning and ending progression. Yes, all music can be said to do that, and sure, some have a generalized theme of sex, drugs and rebellion. “Diamond Dogs” is directly related to George Orwell’s ‘futuristic’ book “1984.” “Diamond Dogs” was released in 1974, at a time when there was growing concern about the possibilities of “Big Brother.” Of course, now days, we all know it is true, especially if you live in the United States. “Big Brother” is watching our EVERY move. Do not be fooled into thinking we do not have “thought crimes” either, just ask “The Dixie Chicks” or anyone who speaks out against the majority. Okay, enough politics for me. This album is superb in every manner! Intelligences, quality lyrics, excellent craftsmanship on every instrument, well developed and refined vocals, a creative flow that allows the listener to lose whatever thoughts they have and to form new ones on a much higher level. Of course, David has plenty of other quality albums and individual songs. Owning just one album of his is a discredit. For me, this is my favorite as an album as whole unit. I love “Let’s Dance” as well. (Bit of trivia, who is the guitarist on the album “Let’s Dance?” None other than Mr. Stevie Ray Vaughan. ) “Diamond Dogs” has a cover with a painting of David Bowie as half man half dog. In the original European release, the cover included the dog genitals that is an original part of the art work. It was quickly censored by the American music industry and that area was darkened to conceal the genitals. The original album cover is very collectable! Very difficult to find, even back when it was new. No, unfortunately, I do not own it. In fact, I have not even seen it before. Love to have it though for my collect.

the art show and the Y

Next Wednesday night, April 27th, is the reception for my art exhibit at the YMCA. Tuesday (2 days ago) , I was informed that the board of directors decided, on Monday, April 18 (the day before), to have an appreciation dinner for the employees and the volunteers for all their efforts during the March fund raiser drive. They will be closing the YMCA and hosting the dinner there. However, the employees will be involved in the preparations, the serving, and the clean-up. Some thank you. Anyway, they are having it on the night of my reception. Originally, they wanted to cancel it or move it. However, the nice art director stuck up for me and her program and told them they could not because it has already been planned and advertised, months in advance. So, she said the reception is at 7:00 and the dinner is at 6:00 so we will just go and unlock the doors and have the reception anyway on the same night. My first reaction was that it would be better this way. The reception and display are in the lobby next to the pool. With the Y being closed, there will not be a bunch of wet kids running through and parents with their younger offspring setting around and waiting during the reception. 2 weeks ago, just a few short days after I first put my pieces in, I was showing my weight-lifting class instructor my art. There were 2 young boys, about 6 or so, wrestling on one of the benches in front of my art. They were jumping on and off of the bench climbing on the back. One fell back onto the wall and hit one of my pieces. Luckily, I did a good job framing it and it was secure enough to with stand the pressure. The instructor and I chased them off. I have no idea where the parents were, but I used real glass on my frames. They could have easily been cut very bad. Anyway, no pool, less distractions and perhaps a better atmosphere. However, after I thought about it, I became a little frustrated. They had already rescheduled my month from March to April. No problem, but with the YMCA being closed, will the people know that the reception is still on? Less people attending, less sells. The Y spends a lot of money on advertising for this art program. For the reception, they serve drinks and food. This is not donated. They send out special invitation cards to the community at the Y's expense. The Y takes a 20% fee from the sells to help cover the costs. A very good deal if you ask me. I have heard that some of our art galleries here take as much as 45%. If this program or any program at the YMCA losses money, they have no choice but to cut that program. It is just another example of how the arts take a back seat to any thing, especially when money is concerned, when the arts are so vitally important and help to generate money. Then, for me personally, I need the money very much right now. Now, today, I am okay with it all and I just Trust God that this is for a reason. Like I said, maybe it will be better this way. And also like I have mentioned before, art is not in the final product or selling it or any of that, but in the doing. This show has helped me to regain my interest in my art. I have done a lot of drawing in the past few months, more than I have done in years. My work has grown! It has meaning and significance and it has something to say now. Before this show, my art was just stuck in the very back of my storage unit collecting dust. It was all loosly thrown into some damn folders that were not even given the dignity of being dubbed a portfolio. Now, they are Portfolios! Organized, arranged, and front and center. Most of them had no frames or even matting. Now, my pieces have pride and dignity and boldly display their self-worth. My room has a drawing table in it now with my art supplies on it, waiting to be used at a moments notice, instead of buried in my closet, hidden as if ashamed. I do not feel that shame and embarrassment from Lu and my ex and all of that rubbish now. Now, I feel good to have people see my work. This is the most important part about this show to me, not the money. I feel good about my work and that is more than enough. People have said some nice things about my work and that is a bonus.

A new addition to the family

There is a cousin of mine that I have been very close to most of our life’s. I have always felt a deeper feeling of love and appreciation for her as if we have know each other through out all of time. We have been there for each other in our darkest hours, even though we live over 500 miles apart. However, we had a disagreement, or actually, she disapproved of me and we have not spoken in over 2 years. Very early Thursday morning, she came to me in a dream. I say it that way because her visit was very realistic. I could see her clearly, touch her, smell her and hear her voice just as if we were in person together. I do not recall exactly what we were doing, but she was showing me something. She told me, “You look so good and you are so strong now, much stronger than ever before.” Sunday morning, at 3:17 AM, she had her first child! A healthy boy.

nature of the psychology buisness

Thursday afternoon, I saw someone from my past. This girl, who will have to remain nameless (sorry, nature of the psychology business), was leaving Mini Mart as I was going in for chocolate and water. She recognized me, not me her. She was so different. However, when she spoke to me, I recognized her voice. In September through December of 2003, I worked at a place called the LINK. It was a transition center for youths who have had lots of trouble. They had a program there to help them get their GEDs. Actually, for most of these people, it was their last hope. If they could not make it there, most likely, they would not make it. I taught some classes and assisted them in anyway I could there. Most of the classes were life skills and one was an art class. We have even had some who wanted to form a rock band, so I bought some drums and other band stuff (instead of paying my numerous bills) and we would pratice songs. One guy had even wrote his own. I tried to incorporate some new ideas of thinking about life and spirituality with the art class. One day, I gave them some information about the Native American medicine wheel. This is a very complex concept and with the time restraints, I was only able to give them some basics. The class included painting their own wheel and choosing their own colors. After the class, this girl thanked me and said that she enjoyed learning from me. “You make us think,” she told me. She said she liked to hear about new things and new ideas. The part she mentioned that she liked the most was how some cultures view Spring time as the actually new year and not January 1st. She was a good student and she tried hard. She had a very difficult family situation with not only no support, but a lot of opposition. She had just gotten released from our State girl’s reform school. Nearly all of these people in that program where fresh from jail or county and we had 2 other girls from the girl’s school. At first, she was never disruptive and in fact, she was very good about making the others calm down. She had this assumed authority about her. Then, she made a mistake. She went to some party and had sex with some guy who turned out to be some gang member that ended up very shortly after going back to prison for armed robbery. This was not her boyfriend, just someone she knew from before. She got pregnant. She is Latina and if any of you know anything about their culture in America, they are strictly against abortions or birth control or, with some, even adoption. In fact, it is offensive to them to even suggest anything other than the woman keeping the child. Suddenly, this girl’s life just got a whole lot harder. As anyone might expect, she became angry. At first, when we all heard, she and I had a nice short talk. She was open to any advise and I tried to be neutral and supportive. She was in a good place to receive a lot of support and to have some chances to have assistance with all of the programs this small State has to offer. At first, she was very receptive. She told us that after the father found out, that he began to make all of these plans for his son. He was going to teach him all of the gang stuff he knew. She was angry and scared and told him that he would never see his child if he did any of that and told him her child would not grow up with that. Then, her frustration and anger and fears took over. She became oppositional in class and to all of us there. She even became conformational at times with not just us, but all of the other students. This pregnancy thing is not uncommon to this 10 week program. In fact, this program had a very low percentage of them that actually completed the program, let alone obtain their GEDs. Out of the 25 who stared when I was there, only 6 made it through. Only one got their GED. 3 went back to jail, 2 got pregnant during the program and one got his girlfriend pregnant. 2 others went back to jail after the program ended. The rest just dropped out. Anyway, she became angry with me several times in class. She told me and the counselor we had and the director to just leave her alone, not in those exact words and with lots of fowl language. None of us pushed her and we were all very concerned, but we left her alone as she requested. Yet, she did not drop out. On the last day, she told me that I was stupid and she hated me and that she thought the whole program was a waist of everyone’s time. So, imagine my surprise the other day when was very warm and friendly and told me about how well she was doing. She got her GED, her son was 2 now, and she had a full time job. The surprise was very pleasant and I have been thanking God since then. I am grateful that she is doing so well. She had that potential. I am grateful she was not on drugs or in jail or prision. I am grateful that I was able to make a difference, at least, I think I did for her. I am grateful that she no longer hates me, or at least, she was civil enough to speak to me. It is not very often that this happens. Most times, even in this small town, we never see them again. To hear they are doing well makes all of the effort, all of the verbal abuse and anger from them, worth it.

"Thankful Actions"

THE DAILY MOTIVATOR
Monday, April 11, 2005
Thankful actions+++++++++++++++++++
Being thankful in your thoughts and words is a good starting point. Yet the real power of gratitude comes when you put it into action.How do you put gratitude into action? By making the most of the good things you have.When you hoard and hide away your blessings, they soon wither and die. When, on the other hand, you put them to use, the good things in your life grow and multiply.There is no better way to show your thankfulness and appreciation for something than by using it for a positive, productive, creative purpose. Do that, and the value you already have grows even more valuable.Whatever you have is not really yours unless you are truly thankful for it. To be truly and effectively thankful for it, make full and fruitful use of it.Live with a thankfulness in your heart, in your thoughts and, most importantly, in your every action. All the good things you make use of will grow even better.
Ralph Marston
............................................................................
This is the Daily Motivator email edition. Copyright (C) 2005 Ralph S. Marston, Jr. All rights reserved. Visit The Daily Motivator web site at http://greatday.com for an archiveof more than 2,500 daily messages, inspirational photos and more.


This was sent to me via e-mail from a good freind. It was very good for me this day. On those days when I am feeling like I have nothing and I do not get what I want, I just try to remind myself of what I do have and to be thankful. This takes it a step further.

"God Answers"

I asked God to take away my bad habit.
God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No. Patience is a by product of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No. I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain. God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No. You must grow on your own! , but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me. God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world"


A good friend sent this to me in an e-mail. Perhaps many of you have seen this already. In my life the past 15 years since I stopped drinking, I have had many chances to become closer to God. That is my main goal in life. I had a friend who used to tell me that she wanted nothing more than to move on and to set in God’s Lap. I know in my heart, she will be one day. As for me, I just want to hang out, no Lap or Thrown or Inheriting any Kingdoms. I just want to be near, say "hello" and hopefully to learn how to be more like God. Perhaps, greet my friends as they come to set on God’s Lap. Some days, I feel like I do not know God and I feel so very far away from being anything remotely God. I put this on here so I could come back and remind myself on those days I feel so far away. These past few years, or 5 or 6 or so, God has Told me No often. More so than not actually. There is a reason. Often times, I am lucky enough to know that reason. Sometimes, well… I just have to wait. Waiting sure is tough at times. In the waiting, in the bardo, is when we learn all about ourselves and when we need to trust the most. Thta is when we grow and prove to oursleves, well... just whatever or whoever we are and do. Some days, I just do not even want to try. Fortunately, those days do not happen so much anymore and they just do not seem to last as long. Thank you God for that!!!

I do not know if I am anyone’s “world.” It sure is a nice thought, though. There is someone in my life who is my “world.” He has been my only reason to live on those days when I have none other. Some day, I hope to say that I have another who is my “world” and that she will say the same about me. I have been Asking, and perhaps that is the problem or maybe I just ask it in the wrong way. Hard for me to know sometimes. To this point, the answer is not so much “No” as it is “Not Right Now, Tim.”

"Supertramp-Paris"

Intelligent lyrics, fantastic energy with minor adlibs in the music, a full robust sound enhanced by the echoes through the stage microphones. This is like a greatest hits. All, or most, of their best songs performed live in Paris, France, November 29th, 1979. “Paris” is a follow-up release to their top selling album “Breakfast in America.” The big difference between the live performances and the studio: energy, boldness, and a full sound. Yes, the studio productions are fantastic and there are lots of “effects” that are not on the live versions. However, this album gets right-up in your face and demands that you listen, learn, and "feel." Who among you, my readers, can say they actaully "feel" when they listen music. Not just to get up and dance or be happy, but fully experience your emotions. All of you, I hope! At times, this music is depressing, creating vivid images of a lonely middle aged man or the difficulties of leaving in a stale British environment or being a social out-cast, questioning your sanity. Then, it blatantly tugs at your intelligences, demanding you to think about life, not through money or material gains, but through love and emotions and daily life. With the very first song, the stage is set, the plot revealed. “School” begins as a relatively slow ballad-type, expressing disapproval for the British school systems long know to be brutal, uniform, confirmative, and removing any personality and individuality from their children. Then, after a few verses, the song flows into a mesmerizing bridge, giving a person time to digest the lyrics, ponder their life’s, and then… bam! an extremely energetic, bold piano solo busts lose as if the militia has shown up to not just demand equal rights, but to take it by force. This solo gives me chills every time I hear it! It is made so much more bolder by the slower melodies and seriousness of the lyrics prior. The rest of the band picks up the tempo as well as the piano hammers into our hearts. This solo makes me feel, feel alive and full of... emotions. Many of the remaining songs are set-up this way. Slow build ups, leading to dramatic tempo increases. Just as any excellent art piece or classic cinema, it has drama, bold conflicts and stark contrasts. Before I heard this album, I had only owned “Breakfast in America” and had heard one or two other songs. After falling in love, I decide to purchase all of their albums. As with all "greatest hits" albums, there always seems to be at least one song that is to on the album that I feel should be on it. With “Paris” there is one of their songs that is very good that is not on this. It was popular and got some radio air time. “Give a Little Bit” was even used on a few TV commercials in the past 5 or so years. In 1981, I purchased a 1979 Dodge Warlock II pick-up. It had a factory 8-track player in it. In 1977, I converted to cassettes after some one broke into my car and stole my 8-track player, speakers and all of my tapes (36 in all). Within a few years, they stopped manufacturing 8-tracks. There was no extra money for me to put in a new stereo system at the time. I have not been much of fan of radio, so I barrowed this tape from my roommate. It remained in my truck’s 8-track player for more than 6 months.

KISS Alive!

Say what you will. Luagh if you want. Love them or hate them. This is a very very good album. Forget about the costumes and the make-up and the pyrotechnics and the glam and the 'not going to safe the World' lyrics, this album ROCKS!!!! There is so much energy! These guys are tight and together. This is music from their first 3 albums, before they got big and super famous. To me, the live performances of these songs are far better than the studio versions. The most important, the most enjoyable, the best part: Ace’s solos. They are so crisp and sharp! At moments, they mesmerize. At moments, they pierce my heart and demand that my soul wake and give my complete undivided attention. One difference from the studio version to this: the guitar solo on “Rock and Roll All Night.” A little longer and with far more enthusiasm. Ace Frehley’s unique sound on this album greatly enhances the music. The rest of the music: fun, entertaining, high energy, un-pretentious, catchy. When you stop listening to it and go about your day, the songs pound through your mind like, well, like a rock and roll band. Whenever I play this, I can not decide what to listen to after it is done. So, I just listen to it again, and again, and, again. When I very first bought this back in 1976 when it first came out, it did not leave the 8-track player in my old ’68 Dodge Charger for months. When it did, it only left for a very short time before it went back. Then, someone stole it. I have bought this album 4 times on 8-track tape, twice on cassette, 3 times on vinyl, and twice on CD. All 4 8-tracks and 1 cassette were stolen. You might think that Ace was my favorite. It was Gene Simmons. For many Halloweens, my face was painted like Gene’s. I even became a bass player. When I was a senior in high school, my bedroom walls were covered in KISS posters. By the way, I saw them in late 1976, with the original line-up and in make-up. Then, in the early ‘90’s at Red Rocks, and then again in 1995 when they reunited with the original members. When I die and I list my accomplishments, seeing the original KISS in make-up will be on that list.

The list will not be any particular order. There is absolutely no way I can pick on song or one performer or one album that I love more than all of the others. There are many albums that I love that may not make the list. The ones I will list now will be the if-I-am-lost-on-a-deserted-island-I-have-to-have-with-me albums. The best of the best of the best of the best. Remember now, it is just my opinion and my likes and my choice. No payola involved.

Something new / favorite ablums list

Okay, something instead of all the art stuff. What I am going to do now is to make a list of my favorite albums. These will be my all-time-best-most liked-most listened to- albums. Maybe latter, I will just list bands/artist, but for now, just the albums. There will be little explanations of why and some little side notes with a little story or some 'important only to me' type information. With this list, some of the criteria will be the album as a whole, not just certain songs. There are a lot of songs I love, but not the entire album. Oh sure, some of them will have a song here and there that I do not care so much for, but for the most part, all of it together. Please note that some of these will be live albums. They are in a way a “greatest hits” compilation. Some music critics do not like live albums. They feel they lose the integrity of the mastering and engineering that can only be reproduced in the studio. Me personal, I love them! The energy, the subtle changes in the music, especially the guitar solos. The adlib, the crowd interactions, the tight knit timing of the bands performances that are not enhanced by studio over-dubs, and the lack of some of the cheesiness with some background noises or vocals. If a person listens real close, you can hear slurred speech or mumbled lyrics due to intoxicated performers. There are times when a particularly loud person in the audience is heard over the others. To me, seeing my favorite bands live was the ultimate experience in enjoying and appreciating their work. There is a new closeness and new appreciation for their talents. Okay, enough already. Oh, yes, I love studio recordings with high-thec productions and engineering and over-dubs and background vocals. Well, readers, I hope you enjoy my choices. You do not have to like them or agree, this is just me. You might learn more about me, or you might want to click off my site.

yes, more art stuff

In the newspaper Friday, there was an article about “The Artist Guild” here. It is an art club. They have a gallery and all that. The article said they had a website, so I went to it. The club said they need help with projects and maybe some teachers for work shops. They have been around for a long time. I knew about them back in college during the 80’s. I have been inside their gallery once about 24 years ago. I e-mailed them about a membership and their programs. They wrote me back and I will try to stop by sometime this week. I am not much for clubs and things of that nature. I belonged to the Corvette club in town when I had my ‘72 rag top. I had some fun and met some good people. Maybe this art club will be a good thing for me.

Black Mask, 1983. Below are the "evil satanic" masks from my story "A Witch Hunt in Wyoming." (please, see the January archives) I dug them out of storage and their cardboard tombs to give them back their dignity. The leather is an elk hid that my father harvested and tanned himself. Maybe it is a little scary looking kind of, I guess.

White Mask, 1983. This mask was made using Raku glaze. This glaze is Japanese that uses a quick firing technique. Other glazes use very high temperatures that take a long period of time to heat up slowly and cool down slowly, about 72 hours. This glaze only takes about 8. Notice how it cracks from the quick cooling, yet, the surface remains smooth to the touch. The non-glazed areas produce a charcoal or burned effect. I love this glaze!!! I tried to emulate the kabuki style masks. I wish I had the resources to do more of this.

Brown mask, 1983. This was an attempt to combine animal and human features. My version of "vivisection." It was supposed to be cat and human. I do not know why I chose to do this and I had no intentions of making some statement with them.
 

Batty, 1983. Clay sculpture from college.
 

more art show

All of the title cards are now up and so is the leopard. There is 23 pieces in all, or 24 if you count the "Lady/Dragons" separately. I am not sure how many, but I have probably 30 more drawings that are not in the show. I have about 15 or more paintings and about 6 or 7
sculpture pieces as well. Of course, not all of them are show quality, but there are perhaps 10 more that could go up. There is maybe room for one to three more pieces at the YMCA. Who knows, maybe one day I will have a show with more pieces. Then of course, some of these will be sold. I actually have two more that I have started already. Lots of the ol’ creative juices flowing of late.

art show

Got all of my art up last night!!! Only took 2 hours. There was 2 pieces left from the fundraiser and there was room, so I included them. They need title cards. They are printed up now and I will try to work in the time today to hang them up. I have another piece here at home, the yellow and brown leopard (there is a picture of him on here), that I am going to put in as well today. I gave it a title, “Enough Already” that stems from his facial expression. He will not be for sale. If there is someone who is dieing to have it, I will look into having some prints made. I am very curious about this anyway. I am wondering what the cost might be, can it be feasible to make prints and sell them at a profit and not be too high a price. Most people do not frame their reprints when they sell them and I might check inot that as well. Anyway, I got some very nice compliments!!! There is another artist who works there, he had some very complimentary words. The art director very much liked the falcon piece. She said it gave her “chills.” WOW! No one has ever said that before. You know, I know I am talented and that my stuff is good. I am just modest and do not like to think of my art or myself as being “Great,” although some people tell me so. Being humble makes me work harder to improve. These days though, I can look at my work and appreciate it more than I could before.

Today is the day!!!!!!!!!!

I am both excited and nervous. My son will be coming to help me set-up for the exhibition at 4:00PM. Everything is ready now. This is my first time setting-up solo. There was an article in the newspaper today about the Cheyenne Artist Guild. They have an exhibition house center in the Holiday Park here. They have been around since 1948 according to their website. I made an inquiry about a membership. They are looking for people to teach workshops. So, more art stuff going on for me. I have some ideas and images floating around in my head and heart. I was going to take a break. However, I think I am going to just continue working on more pieces.