a visit from Mr. C

Funny how the next few days, or sometimes longer, are challenging after a nice dream like that. Mr. Cynical came by a visit 2 days ago. I had hoped that by exposing him in such a manner as this would cause him to back off, yet, there he was, just as angry as ever. In fact, I was rather taken back by the intensity of his anger. Standing there observing his behavior, I could not help but be amazed at the level, the degree of anger and hostility he invoked in such a short period. To me, it seemed nearly instantaneous and the anger absolute. I could see him, even feel him, trembling with it. And for what? Why? What prompted this? Not sure, really, perhaps nothing more than just the usual. There was no specific event that occurred, no catastrophic incident, no minor irritation, even. One word triggered this, a word I do not recall, just that the Voices do not often allow for my own personal thoughts. It seems They constantly need to remind me of thoughts and actions and feelings about occurrences that I already know and have already felt. They want to warn me when I am already taking heed of such “danger.” They feel They need to tell me what it is I should think and how I should feel and in which manner I should react when I am plenty capable of doing so on my own and am, in fact, many times, already doing so. Some days it is no so much enjoyable conversing with the ‘dead.’