Merry New Year Everyone!!

2005 was not so bad for me. In fact, last year saw many improvements for me in many aspects of my life from the previous year. 2004 was better than ‘03 and each year for the past 3 has gotten much better than the previous. I am hoping that 2006 will see just as much positive progress as 2005. From here, 2006 looks very promising. Yet, I would trade it all for someone to love and who will love me in return. I would gladly suffer 18 months of unemployment and the worst health again if I had love with me.

At Midnight tonight will be my ‘birthday.’ 16 years of clean and sober. The first 10 seemed like a breeze, but the last 6 have been tough. Years 10 through 13 were brutal. The last 3, well, they have each improved as time has progressed. The desires and longing and struggling with myself to not drink or do drugs has become less intense and less frequent from 10 through 13. That trip to Jamaica could have been very challenging with all the beer drinking and ganja smoking going on around me, but I had no desires or feelings of wanting to drink or smoke there, or since. That only seems to occur when I am very depressed or frustrated. That should tell me or anyone that I am an addict who only seeks to escape and not a disease that I have no control over. Oh yes, I admit I have problems with it, but I am usually able to work through it. Who cares how it should be described or labeled? I do not because my only choice is to live with it. Either I beat it or it beats me.

I hope you all have tremendous sucess in your 2006!