Christmas traditions and my family

Each family has their own little twists and ways of doing things for the holidays, so I thought I would tell you about ours. My family exchanges gifts on Christmas morning. When we were kids, we were allowed to open one gift before we went to bed on Christmas Eve. As we got older and got to be teenagers and beyond, we would have some of our friends over. Then, it turned into a big party each year. We would take turns having it at each other’s houses and have Christmas Day at my parent’s. When we were children, we always went to my Grandma Mary’s house for Christmas in Guernsey, along with ever holiday and most weekends. This is my father’s mother. When my father’s sister and her family moved from Des Moines, Iowa to Torrington, 30 miles from my Grandmother‘s, they would come to every thing as well. As we all got married and started having children, we stopped going to my Grandmother’s. Shortly after, she died. There was just too much going on there. My family, that part of it anyway, fights often. There was tons of drinking and smoking and drugs. There was always huge fights that most often resulted in actual physical stuff. One year, on the 4th of July, my cousin pulled a gun on my uncle. The fun had gone out of it and the family was just too big for my Grandma’s very small house. Plus, after my Grandfather died, my Grandmother was ill all the time and it was just too unfair for her to have to cook so much and work so hard. So, we would just do our own thing here with my brother and sister and all of our own kids and spouses. Christmas Eve turned into a huge drinking night. My mother would not allow drinking on Christmas Day at her house, so we had to fit it all in the night before. There was one night that we drank beer and Schnapps and smoked cigars and played cards all night. At 4:00AM, my sister noticed they had not put any of her girls’ Santa gifts together yet. So, there was 3 extremely drunk idiots, my sister’s husband, my best friend and myself, trying to put together a canopy bed for my niece. Needless to say, it did not get done. At 6:00 AM, we all decided we needed to go home and get ready because we had to be at my mother's at 8:00. Sometime, I do not know when, my wife had left. I had to get a ride home from my friend. I was extremely hung-over that Christmas. Yes, I know, what a dumb-ass. I have a nice photo of me face down in a recliner, sleeping it off to remind me.

In my sister’s senior year at high school, she got really drunk on the last day of school before Christmas break. She and her friends began drinking peppermint Schnapps in the morning. Early that night, her friends dumped her in our front yard. Just rolled her out of the car and drove off. My father came home from work to find her passed out, stone cold to the World in our front yard. She was still throwing-up on Christmas morning, 3 days latter. Each time she smelled a candy cane, she ran to the bathroom. She still has a taste aversion for peppermint to this day. There are never any candy canes at her house.

Okay, so, then, divorces happened and people moved and friends moved on and I stopped drinking and all that. No longer was it a big party any more, except for my sister and what ever guy she was with at the time. We still get together, but it is not the same. The last 6 or 7 years, I have been making my famous egg rolls and hot wings. My nieces bring their friends over and they all beg for about a month before each year for me to make them. I will be doing so this year.

Trevor’s step-father’s family does their gift exchanges on Christmas Eve. That works out well for me. They go to church that night as well, like lots of people. I have never been to church on Christmas Eve or Day. Since my sons’ second Christmas, he has spent Christmas Eve with his mother and then comes over to my house in the morning. His first one, well that is a story. In our divorce papers, we are supposed to have it that each of us trade off everyone year, not just for Christmas, but all holidays and his birthday. It was supposed to be mine for his first one, but she thought otherwise. A few days before, I called to make arrangements to pick him up, but she was not there. Her soon to be husband said she was out to happy hour with the girls from work. She called me back, much latter, drunk, and told me I was not going to see him. So, that next morning I called my lawyer and asked what my options and my rights were, then called her back. Before she could open her mouth, I told her I was taking him. In Wyoming, a parent can not denied visitation to the other parent. Even if they do not pay any child support, they can not be denied visitation. The parent who does deny can go to jail for it. So, I informed her of my rights and she backed off and we have settled with this arrangement ever since. In fact, I have had him for nearly all of the holidays and all of the weekends.

I miss going to my Grandma’s. I miss her food and her small house and just seeing her. I miss my son being little and watching him open gifts and playing with his toys with him. I miss Legos and Lincoln Logs. There are some very special memories for me. One year, I think maybe he was 4 or 5, just learning to talk well and walk well on his own, we were at the Mall before Christmas. I think I was shopping or something and he sat down on the floor and began playing with some toys while I was at the check-out. See kids do this all the time, but he had never done that before, or since, now that I think about it. He was playing with some rubber ‘men’ action figure type things. They were superheroes, like Spiderman and stuff. I noticed they were cheap. So latter on, after I took him home when the weekend was over, I went back and bought 3 of them for him. It was just a last minute thing, no thoughts to it. When he open them, he pulled them out and yelled, very excitedly, “I got guys!!” He showed them to me, and said it again, very loudly. He held them up for every body, walked them around to everyone and said it over and over. I will never forget that. I get a little tear in my eye when I think about it. I can still see it clearly in my mind and hear it just as if he is saying now.

I love to buy gifts for others. I get it from my mother. I am sure we will be out tomorrow, last minute buying, even though she said she has already gotten everyone all their gifts. She does it every year. This year, I have not had much Christmas spirit. My heart and my mind are still in Jamaica. Usually, I take my time buying gifts. I start early, before Thanksgiving. I try to go all the different stores, avoiding Wal-Mart as much as possible (do not want to fed the monster, if you know what I mean), and spread the wealth. This year, I did it all in one day. In fact, in less than 2 hours. I have not heard much Christmas music this year. That is okay though, because usually by now, I am a little sick of it already. I like it, but I just do not like it so much to hear it all the time. I have not gone to one Christmas party this year. At least this year I am not feeling so depressed and lonely because I do not have any one special in my life.

Anyway, Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone!