more zombies

Tuesday morning, August 16th, I dreamt about zombies again. In all horror movies, the monsters or evil characters represent a specific human aspect. Zombies represent mindless people who did not think for themselves. They only follow the crowd and never reach out for anything better nor do they take any chances, even though this slowly kills them and all of the others around them. My dreams this day were very violent. In the beginning of my dream, I was sleeping and they came for me. I was in a very tall place, but they began to stand on each others shoulders to try and get me through a large window. I went for my shotgun, which I did not actually find. However, I used my imagination and knowing that I indeed have a shotgun and began shooting them. I just stuck out my arms as if I was actually holding an actual gun and fired several shots at the heads of the zombies. I aimed at the ones on the bottom so that the others would just fall down. Quickly, I ran to the front of the place I was in that became a big vehicle, a huge motor home, and sat down to drive. Seating in the drivers seat, I could see I was in nature, in a park area that had lots of trees and beautiful green grass. The weather was very warm and the Sun was bright. Many zombies came out of the trees at me and surrounded the motor home. There was too many of them for me to just shoot. They began climbing onto the sides of the vehicle, so I drove very fast through the trees. The trees knocked all of them off, except for one who was on the roof. He was dressed like a cowboy and had a big shotgun. He was trying to gain his balance and to shoot me through the roof. I drove faster and hit some bumps, rocking the vehicle. He feel off. Then, my alarm went off and I woke up. As I lay there thinking, “another zombie dream,” I fell back to sleep. The zombie dream continued, only I was now in a different setting. I was walking through a big city on an open lot. On the ground was lots of rubbish and items all over. I reached down and picked-up a baseball bat. There was many zombies now all around me and I began knocking their heads off with the bat. Yes, lots of blood and brains, just for fun I suppose. Several times, I was close to being bitten!! Of course, in the movies, if one is bitten by a zombie, they become a zombie. Then, I woke up again, but feel to sleep and the dream started again. In this version, I was inside a big building. I walking through a hallway that was very cluttered with many items. Actually, the correct term would be climbing through the hallway because of so much debris. There was old beds and mattresses and furniture and clothing everywhere. I was following some others as we were escaping and there were others behind me. The zombies were outside and after us. We did not have any guns, but there was plenty of items to use to defend our selves. I choose a tire iron. Then, I woke again, but this time I got out of bed and went to the YMCA for my work-out.
Many years ago, when my sobriety was very new, I would have dreams of a very large crocodile. It would be larger than a dinosaur!!! In those first few dreams, it would eat me. I would be very frightened when I woke, unable to return to sleep. Then, I began to understand that the crocodile was just my problems and issues in life. In the Bible, there are references to dragons as evil demons or even as Satan. Many Biblical scholars believe that this word has been mistranslated and that the word is actually referring to crocodiles. In the times of Jesus and just before, crocodiles were not found in Europe. European people had never seen such a large reptiles before. The explorers and sailors began bringing them back from their trips to India and Africa. This was such a new and horrible site for the Europeans! A ten foot monster with huge teeth. They were told horrible and exaggerated stories of crocodiles that would eat hundreds of children and adults. To people in Egypt, these crocodiles were evil because they did eat there children and maim adults. To these Europeans, the crocodiles appeared to them as mythical monsters. Many viewed crocodiles as evil monsters from Hell. I did not know this information until after I had several of those dreams. Thus, I made the connection that the crocodile was actually my own personal monster. In the Western Hemisphere, there are no crocodiles, but only alligators. In my very first dream, I knew that this was a crocodile and not an alligator. That small piece of information helped me to establish that connection of information. After I began to work on coping with my troubles in life, those crocodile dreams began to change. The crocodile would not get me or kill me because I was able to run or escape from it. When I would awake, I would feel safe, but I also knew that the crocodile would only find me again. Then, I became upset with myself. I did not feel like much of a man. I felt weak and foolish for running. So, I worked harder on my issues. Then, I learned that we can change things in our dreams. We can control certain outcomes or events. After I discovered this knowledge, I had another crocodile dream. This was many years latter after the first one, but when it happened, I reminded myself that I could kill this monster. Yes, it would be very difficult, but I knew I could do it and, therefore, I did not run away. Many ideas came to mind for killing it that included weapons such as spears or bows. Guns or modern weapons and devises did not come to mind, but a reminded myself that I have a sword. Then, my mighty sword appeared in my hands! I made plans to leap onto the crocodiles back, then run my sword through the top of it’s head, through it’s small brain, killing it. However, I woke up before I could implement my plans. To this day, the crocodile has not returned in my dreams.
This zombie dream is just telling me not to give in and not be like the rest of the mindless people. I want something more out of life! It is very hard some days. I could just settle for a relationship with someone in my surroundings, settling for what ever is already there, and not for strife for something better. I would be very unhappy, but I would not be alone. I am so tired of being alone!!! However, this is just not me! I have settled for less in my life before. I have taken the easy road and I was miserable!! No more!!!
Continue fight off the zombies and know true love!!