Choices, who makes who?

We hear that we create our own realities. We have the power within us to make our life’s better or worse. I have thought that this mostly meant that we have a choice to react to our situations in whatever manner we see fit at the time. We can choice to react with anger and fear or with patience and understanding. We all know the stories of a kid living in the ghetto who turns to a life or drugs and crime and hate. That kid blames their circumstances and their lack of choices for the poor choices they have made. Yes, indeed, at times, it can sure feel and look like we have no choice. Although we may not like those seemly limited choices, we always have a choice. Or do we? For my chosen example here, I think we do have a choice. Not easy ones, or ones we want or like, but choices.

My purpose here now for this blog is a question I have been pondering for a few years now. Do we have a choice in who we are and what we do or has that choice already been made for us? For example, I want to create in my life a career. One where I make tons of money, I am doing something to help others and to make a difference in the World, and that I would love. After I quit drinking and discovered myself, I have been working toward that. Changing one self internally, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually seems to be a very necessary part of this process. No simple job, believe me. Here I am, owning my own business that helps others and I am doing my best to make a difference in many ways, but am I really I control of it? Not absolutely, no. When one attends college, having a specific goal is very useful. Yet, one has to be flexible because life happens and changes occur and before you know it, you are banging your head against a wall you will never get past. Is that wall telling you to work harder? Keep trying? Persevere? Or is it there to point you in another direction? Hard to tell at times. I know many people who got the degree they wanted and the job they sought and they are miserable. Time to go back to school and make another poor choice?

Yes, we have some control, but do we with the how and where and when and who? There are many books out there that say yes and provide detailed instructions on how to do so. For me, so far, none of it has worked. I seem to get to a certain point and then it is gone or changes or somehow I end up losing it or at best going off in another direction. If one believes in past life and reincarnation, and also believes we have some choices in determining our next life time, then certain major parts of our life’s have already been chosen, by us as well as God.
Since I began my business, this seems that I have been on some Holy quest for a grail. Finding good employees is seemly impossible. There is a huge lack of responsibility and morals and proper etiquette. Far be it for me to decide what is proper, but anyone with any small thread of common decency should know some of the basics here. That seems too much to ask for in a person. Showing-up to work on time, or even showing-up at all seems to be far too much pressure. Working a full 4 hour shift 4 days a week is also to much too ask of someone. Expecting them to remain sober and not use illicit drugs or abuse prescriptions seems to be an un-realistic expectation. In comparison to the other business such as mine, I pay more. I ask less and I tolerate more than any of the other places I have worked. Yet, I can not find any decent workers in this area. What has happened? Have we taught our younger generations to be lazy and demanding of things not yet earned?

We had a pizza delivered from Domino’s Saturday night. Attached to the box was a flyer advertising for workers. They are paying $15 an hour! The funding I get for my clients from the government is only $11 an hour for most of the services (some do pay more, yes). I pay my employees $10 an hour. So why would they want to work for me with all of the huge responsibilities of taking care of other humans in need when they can delver pizza for more money?

Our priorities in this country need to change!

After the day I had yesterday with on of my clients, I might want to consider delivering pizzas. While at work, he took several of his pain medications and drank some vodka. Oh, I know about his sneaking around with his drinking and until yesterday he was able to still get his work done. I guess he decided to party like 1999 on a Sunday morning at work. He passed out numerous times, one of them while he was standing and attempting to remove his back brace. When I suggested I take him home, he became very agitated and vulgar with me. He left the building finally only to pass out on the ground in the parking lot. After reminding him he could not sleep there and made more attempts to give him a ride home, he still refused with much vulgarity and walked across the street. He then passed out on the side of the road. After numerous phone calls, my only option became to call the police. They told me they would take him home and he did get in the car, but a phone call latter that evening informed me they took him to jail.
So, I ask myself, is this what I busted my ass for in college? Is this why I spent 4 years in college, going in debt for $45,000? Is this what God is asking of me?