the edge is off

Last night was the banquet for my son’s football team. A part of me was dreading going and facing more of the pain. However, after I got there and the coaches began giving out awards, I felt better. My son lettered again and got special recognition for not missing any work-outs through out the entire year, not just during football season. When the head coach began talking about all of the accomplishments of this year, I began to let go of that pain and resentment and disappointment. Well, the resentment was never really there. My disappointment was in my confusion of not knowing what to do next and why things did not work-out. I did nothing different from before. I began to doubt if I would get any of the things I am working toward. My visualization growth and development are still in the learning process. When the coach began to inform us all of the positives, well, I just saw things in perspective. This year, my son’s team started out with losing their first two games. Then, they won 8 in a row. They made it to the championship game after not being there for 31 years. They ended up having the number 1 offense and defense in the State. They scored 197 points and only gave up 43. They had a rusher who surpassed 1,200 yards for the first time ever in school history and he is only a Junior this year. We had 11 guys make First Team All Conference and 8 make First Team All State. Last year, we only had 2. There are many more who made Second Team and Honorable mention. One of our guys won the “Lineman of the Year” award for outstanding lineman in the entire State. That had never happened before. There was lots of other stuff, as well. All of this has taken the sting out of my pain and the edge is off now. Best thing about this is that many of these guys are coming back for next year. We should have a very good team. Many of the Sophomores and Freshman are pretty big, too. There was one huge shocking conclusion to all of this though, the head coach resigned! We were all in shock. No one knew, not even the kids. I think though, it is for the best. One thing I learned in all this is still loud and clear and somewhat confusing. The coach was quoted in our local newspaper this morning saying what kind of sums it all up for me: “There‘s no guarantees in life, I guess, no matter how hard you work or if you do the right things.”

Now what? As I said before, I have no other choice. Just keep working and doing and moving forward. Why I lost out this time and why many of the other things I am working toward are not in my life yet is a mystery. Maybe I will get them, just not in the time frame I wish. Or, maybe I will not get them and something better will come of it all. Sometimes, though, it seems like I do a lot of giving up and very little receiving of the better stuff.