thoughts and friends and sex buddies and stuff
After I wrote my last blog, I eat some lunch while having some thoughts. I thought about why I do not have many friends or a wife or girlfriend or even a sex buddy. Do not have any good answers. Divine Intervention is about the best I can sum it all up. The friends thing, well, who knows. I spent some time looking at other blogs today. I used some links with band names, Dead Kennedy’s was one and The Cure another (both bands I like very much). There are lots of people complaining about their friends and how much they hate them and all the mean things they have done. You people should try being alone for 6 years. You might wish to have someone to hate, but I do not wish for that. I would rather be alone than to have friends who hurt me. But can that really be helped? Can we have friends and always get along and not hurt each other? NO. So maybe I do wish that I had someone to hate at times. I just would not want one who never calls or does not show up when they say they will or ignores me when they see me in public or.. Hey, wait! That is my ‘friends.’ Is that why I go to movies alone? With my interests, I am a contradiction. I LOVE punk, especially 80’s hardcore stuff, but I am not angry, not any more… well, not in general and not today. Oh, sure, I like to break stuff, but I do not hate nor I do usually want to hurt someone, except myself at times. I love 80’s New Wave and the Cure and Devo and the B-52’s and lots of that other stuff, but I also love 80’s hair metal, Cinderella or Motley Crue, and 80’s hardcore heavy metal, like Slayer and Metallica. I love Motown and soul and 70’s disco and blues, but I can not tolerate rap or hip hop. Country, especially the new stuff, is not at all for me! Where I live, I am in the vast minority with that, especially for my age group. That stuff depresses me and makes me want to go postal. I would rather listen to teh lold traditional country and that is even more depressing. If I want to get mellow, I will put on some old Elton John. Seems like I am either too old or too young thinking, or otherwise. I love to play music, mostly my guitars and my harmonica and I wish I could my drums but they are in storage right now. Music is extremely important to me and a HUGE part of my life. I wish so much to be in band again, but who out there in this hick town wants to play and not party all night? Who out there just wants to play and have fun and not worry about getting signed or if I played the note correctly or not? I do not know anyone. No, I do not drink or smoke or take drugs, illicit or not, and I love God and my son and my family and my cat and my dog and my fish and usually life. I am NOT religious, just spiritual, but I do not preach it to others, I just live it. I work-out 7 times a week, Spinning, weight-lifting, and Yoga. I teach a drawing class at our local YMCA. I am a very talented artist, most people say, but I am not interested in doing ‘Western” art nor do I like it. Tough attitude to have in Wyoming. Don’t sell many drawings, but who says I want to? I am in it for the 'doing,' for the creating, not the end result or the money. I only teach at the Y because I get to work-out for free there now and because I love to teach, especially art. Okay, so whatever. I am a damn nice guy and I am smart and great in bed and a lot of fun to be around. I would like that my wife be my best friend, but that seems to be even harder to find than a good friend. Oh, I tried the internet. I got a few nice pen pals, but nothing more. I tried so many sites and got zero. Even a sex buddy would be good, but again, Divine Intervention. Oh, I have tried, but no go. Safe me from myself and all that. I am not the type of person who can just have sex without any emotional attachment. Call me old fashion or stupid, or silly or whatever, but I am what I am. I am the best friend a person can have. I will not drink all your beer or smoke all your cigarettes and I do not eat much. I will not steal your girlfriend or sleep with your wife. That is mostly because I get along much better with women than men. Most all of my best friends have been woman, the ones who like men better for friends. There is just nothing wrong with me and maybe that is the problem.
Okay, so enough of my complaining.
posted by Timothy at 5:34 PM
2 Comments:
I can relate to a lot of what you've said here. First off, I too love the Cure. Sometimes gloomy bands like NIN, the Cure, etc. actually cheer me up, ironically enough.
I can also relate to the friendship thing, esp. in terms of my boyfriend BG. He had a number of so called "friends" and acquaintances who screwed him over so badly that when he tells me stories about them it breaks my heart and makes me want to break their heads (lol--just kidding there--I think.)
It can be hard to meet decent people, even in a big city. I have met a lot of cool people via the internet and blogging. Sure, there are some creepy people out there as there are in "real life," but since writing is my strongest form of communication this suits me to a "t." At least I can say what I want to say without being interrupted, as can be the case when talking to self-centered people. And if they're not interested, they don't have to read my babbling.
BG and I also like to play music--he plays harmonica and guitar, and I play viola, just for fun. He loves to paint, but like you is doing it primarily for his own head--it's good therapy and a means of self-expression, and I think it's awesome to be able to create something beautiful or at least thought-provoking.
As far as meeting women on line and off--after I broke up with my ex boyfriend of 20 years, I did some internet dating and hung out in my fave bar a lot and met a bunch of people. Nothing really clicked too much until my current b/f of 7 years wandered into the bar one Halloween (his birthday) and we hit it off right away. It's far from impossible, and I understand the deal with not wanting sex without emotional involvement.
In any case, I'm enjoying your blog and will visit again soon.
6:14 PM
Yeah, I hear you Nikky. Laramie is a very cool place in Wyoming, though. Just is not much for work there and rent is insane. Cheyenne is not so bad, though, not as bad as Casper or some other places I have lived here.
Hey, thanks for the comments. You too Elvira! You have made lots of good points, as well.
2:05 PM
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