Another year is over now!

Thank God!!! 6 Thanksgivings‘, Christmas’, New Years‘, and Valentines Days’ alone and are now gone. Now that it is over, I can just relax and not have to think about it. This year there was not nearly as much pain and angry and resentment, but a little. Easter will be here soon, but I see this as New Years. The beginning of Spring, the beginning of life after dormant winter. Will this year bring me someone, a friend, a lover, a wife? Doubt it, but I am optimistic. I have been told that people like me are on a “higher plane” and that it is just more difficult because there are less options. So put in the fact that I am over 40 and I do not drink and live with my parents, well, it is nearly impossible. Sometimes, I would like to just be the old me and get laid. Oh, do not think I have not tried, but somehow divine intervention keeps me from doing this. I really do not want a shallow, empty, physically unsatisfying relationship anyway. Yet, I do not see any reason why I can not have a good one now. What is the reason why? Only God knows and God is not sharing that with me right now. It kind of makes me grumpy when I think about it, but that does no good either. Being mad or happy does not change it, but being content and trying to be happy makes it easier to deal with daily.

Takes a lot of energy