stinking Valentines

Saint Valentines Day has been a thorn in my side for many years now. Just yesterday, I walked into a grocery store to find bouquets of roses lined up with red heart shaped cards and red ribbons and.. you get the picture. My immediate response was a quick, deep feeling of anger and resentment. In the past, I would have went with that feeling and wanted to kick the table over. This time, I just let it go. In my opinion, a person should love, honor and respect there sweetie 24/7, 365, not just one day a year. Sure, it is a nice thought and a good time for something extra. (back in my drinking days, we would have called it another reason to get drunk) Yet, it seems to me like a ploy by the greeting card industry to make extra money. Millions of roses and other flowers lose their lives on this day. I love flowers, especially roses. I love to give flowers because I love them and appreciate them and… well… it works, okay? What a nice treat it would be to have a woman give me flowers (once, people, only once in my 45 years and she got them out of the dumpster at a grocery store and gave a bunch to other people as well and she was not my girlfriend or anything close to it). But it is more special when given at random then on some preplanned day of the year. And yes, I love chocolate! The best part about this day is like the other holidays, mark down bags of candy the day after at all the stores. When a person does not have a sweetie, this time of year can really suck. All of the constant reminders that you have no one, everywhere, is enough to make a person either cry or go postal. On TV, on the radio, every store, it is unavoidable!!! When a person is already hurting and resentful, is it any wonder they become jaded? My first date with my ex-wife was on St. Valentines Day. We went to the most expensive restaurant in town. I gave her a silver necklace with a heart pendant (real silver, spent lots of money I did not have then). She never wore it. She ordered prime rib, well done and put tons of ketchup on it. I should have ran, screaming! I waited 7 years to do that, but anyway… When I lived in Laramie and the love of my life had just dumped me and I was broke, unemployed and friendless, I heard of a bar that had an “Anti-Valentines Day” night. Oh boy, did I want to go, but it would have been my luck to set around stewing with a bunch of angry dateless guys who were drunk and stupid and complaining about life. I did not need any more of that( especially sober). After that, I began to hate this stinking day. Each ad I would hear on the radio I would yell absentees and change the challenge. If I saw it on TV, I would produce a certain finger gesture. Last year, at my computer software job, they had a "St. Valentines Day" card contest. We had to make our own cards using their publishing software (Quark, if you are wondering). Me and this other angry punk rock-green Mohawk wearing - just divorced guy made an “I hate St. Valentines Day” card. We put cupid with an arrow throw his head, bullet holes in his chest, Alice Cooper make-up around his eyes and blood everywhere. We won second place! So, this year I am not angry and resentful. If I had a girlfriend or wife, I would do something nice for her just like I always have in the past. After I saw those flowers and with some other ads since then, I have just let it go.

I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up after February is over.