“With great power comes great responsibility”

Any Spider-man fans out there will recognize this slogan.

I just finished watch Spider-man 2 on the DVD I got for Christmas. Oh sure, I saw at the theater before, 3 times. Spider-man has always been close to my heart. As a kid, he was on TV. Had his own live-action series back in the 70’s. I do not remember much of them, but I do remember the cartoon versions on Saturday mornings. It was apparent to me even then, even before I knew about depression and self-doubt, well, not in those words anyway. I knew it alright, but not like I know it now. I am drawn to the anti-hero, the guy who is misunderstood, appreciated by few, loved by even fewer, and disliked by some. Yet, very few know his secret. In my heart, even when I was 8 or 9, I knew I was different from everyone else. How am I different? Well, hard to explain. I am just not the average guy. I do not think it is ok to steal or lie to get ahead. I do not think it is ok to take advantage of others. I do not think fame and fortune are the tell all of our life’s, that we should be judged upon. I do not envy other men for their long lists of sexual accomplishments or their long list of expensive toys. I remember that T-shirt that was popular in the ’80’s; “He who dies with the most toys wins.” Wins what? A trip to hell? Several life times of try it again boy? I saw one that came out latter that said it better; “He who dies with the most toys… still dies.” I never fit into any clicks at school or at work. I fit in only when I drank and acted like a moron. Okay, I still act like a moron at times, but I found out I can do it sober. Saves me lots of money and headaches (get too many as it is). I never really followed fashion too much. Oh sure, some of it at times, but if you buy your clothes at K-Mart, you have to dress like the others. I can not afford K-Mart these days, I need to go to Good Will or Salvation Army. In the mid ‘90’s when I was working hard to find myself, Spider-man was on again. Very good animation, better acting, much closer to the comics. Oh yes, still have my Spider-man comics (although I had to re-buy them because, you know, Mom). So, I discovered why I liked him so much. I am Spider-man. Talking to myself, doubting, struggling between doing what is right and what I want to do. Always wanting MJ and not ever being able to have her. Of course, he finally does. Most days, I am Peter Parker. Smart, but a dork. Am I a superhero? No, well, .. maybe to some. Perhaps some of these I work with and teach and help, maybe they see me as a least decent guy. Perhaps my son does too, but maybe.. have to ask him I guess. Seems I have a Gift for being that guy who helps others, those certain “special” others. Would I rather do something else? Some days, when I am being cussed out and hit and yelled at and flipped off and spit on, sure, you bet. But I can not, not that I am saying I do not have a choice. When I am not doing this type of work, I have lots of guilt. Then, I hear Uncle Ben's voice in the back of my mind, hollering at me to do something more important with my time. Then, some days, I feel like I have no choice and that my “Gifts” are a burden. I wonder if Stan Lee ever felt this way? But when I am there and things go well and one them learns something and does it all on their own without my help or prompts or tells me they love me or laugh at my corny jokes or whips my butt in Monopoly, then there is nothing better!

I just wish Mary Jane Watson would show up. Gotta love the red hair:-)

In case any of you are wondering, I am more Marvel than DC. Love the Dark Knight, too, though.