"Valerie"

"Hey...Tim?" Valerie called to me from her bed.
"Yeah," I stammered. Her call startled me. I was just walking down the hallway passed her door. Not only was I surprised that she was still awake, but that she had called to me at all.
Valerie was the nicest, cutest, coolest girl in the whole trailer court and my life. I wasn't too much into girls yet, being only twelve, but she was really special. There was about ten or so girls around my age in our huge trailer park in Casper, Wyoming. There was maybe over forty girls in my World when I add in all of the older and younger ones, plus the other girls at school. All of which I had some contact with on a regular basis. None of them were like Valerie. I quickly stopped at her door way, facing her.
I was spending the night with her brothers, Jesse and Steve. They were both close to my age. We had become good friends since they moved in the space next to us less than a year before. I was spending the night with them because they were moving that next day to Montana.
Girls to me at this point were just there. Sure, I was interested, but I would rather ride my bike or race Hot Wheels with the other guys. Some of my other friends were a lot more interested than me, but Valerie was different. Whenever I saw her, my mind would go blank. My heart would race faster than my red Corvette Hot Wheel, the fastest Hot Wheel in town. There was nothing else in my World at those times but her. When I thought about her, when I saw her, alone or with other people, or when someone would talk about her, she always stood out above all the others. She was full, living, vibrant, color. The rest of the World, including myself, was dull black and gray. There was Valerie and then there was everyone and everything else.
"Come over here, please," she asked with a little uncertainly. This was not her usual confident self. Valerie was always so calm and sure of herself, but always very sweet to everyone. She seemed to be so much more mature than me even though she was a grade below me and about nine months my junior.
"I want to talk to you." I thought I noticed nervousness in her voice.
I walked into her tiny, dark bedroom, standing by her at the head of her bed. She was lying on her back under the covers. They covered all but her soft, beautiful face. Her long, thick brown hair was tossed about her pillow. It flowed around her light brown skin as ocean waves crashing against a rocky shore. Her pale blue eyes griped my heart so tightly that she had my full undivided attention. They reflected the dim light from the small kitchen down the narrow hall, sparkling like tiny rays of sunshine breaking through thick, rain clouds on a dark and stormy evening. She was gazing at me with an intense longing that spoke of a soon-to-be broken heart. I thought I saw a tear slowly drop from the corner of her left eye, then roll slowly down her cheek.
Valerie and I had not really talked much, even though I saw her everyday. Unlike the other boys, my admiration for her was more about respect, than a wanting for her attention. This person is one that to me seemed to be on a different plane, a higher level, than everyone, including myself. She is, after all, the most beautiful girl in the World and the most sophisticated. Way out of my league, whatever that means. I just didn't have a clue what to say to her most of the time. What could she possibly want to say to me now. My confusion mixed with the awe of being in her presence became so intense that I could not move or speak. I just stood there, wishing we were somewhere else, like outside at the basketball court. Then I could be doing something else while she talked, anything other than the two of us staring into each other's eyes.
"Tim..."
The pause seemed an eternity. I could feel cold sweat beading on my hands. My stomach became flooded with a million Millers. They danced Helter Skelter, desperately trying to get out through my tightly clenched jaw.
What could she want from goofy ol' me? The guy she never seemed to notice? The guy who never begged for her attention? The guy in the background when the other boys rivaled for her affection? Another tear rolled down her cheek.
"I love you."
Shock. Pure and simple. Out of all the millions and billions of possible words that she could have said to me now, these were the least probable that I could have ever even possibly imagined. The World stopped dead in it's tracks. So had my brain and all of my motor skills. I just stood there like a bump on a log, not saying a word.
A flood of tears gushed down both sides of the most wonderful girl in the World's face. The cement that was holding my muscles firm turned to mush. My brain was mush as well, with absolutely no thoughts of what to do. I had no clue what to do or say. Even if I did, fear would not allow me to react. Without even knowing what I was doing, I moved toward her, bending down. The blankets and sheets that had been imprisoning her perfect body, flew through the air toward the end of her bed. Her upper body and arms leapt to me, encompassing me in a firm embrace.
The World had differently started spinning again. And how! The sucker was trying to make up for the lost time.
Valerie held me close as I knelt beside her, holding on with uncertainty. Her embrace was so tight that I could feel her heart beating through her chest into mine. Clinched fists at the end of quivering arms grasped my T-shirt, pulling it away from me, exposing my back. It may have made my collar too tight, but that wasn't the source of my labored breathing. Hot tears flowed onto my flushed cheeks, running down my warm neck. Our cheeks were messed together so tightly that I wasn't sure if the tears were coming from her eyes or mine. Her lovely, soft hair surrounded my face, entangling us in our private, tropical paradise. She gently loosened her grip, then softly kissed me on my tear soaked cheek.
I did nothing to respond to her gestures. I said nothing to answer her unbelievably remarkable words. I did nothing to relate my feelings for her. I said nothing to her as she reluctantly let go of me, lying back down in her bed. I did nothing but stand up as she surrounded herself with the blankets. I said nothing to her as I walked out of her bedroom. The only girl in my World held me like there was no tomorrow, and I did and said nothing. There is no tomorrow! Tomorrow, the most amazingly fantastic person in my life was moving to Montana, leaving my World forever. And I said and did nothing.
I walked back to Jesse and Steve's dark bedroom. The drink of water I had gotten up for seemed light years before now. I laid on the floor in my make-shift bed, completely oblivious to anyone or anything. Valerie's kiss was still warm and wet on my cheek as I went to sleep years latter.
The next morning, after I hurriedly got dressed, I went to her room. She was already up and dressed and packing her few belongings that were not staying in the trailer during the move. As I stood and watched, I could think of nothing to say. She throw me a few glances, but said nothing. Jesse and Steve grabbed me on their way outside, wisking me away from her and my trance. Seconds latter, a big white truck backed up to their trailer intent on taking it away.
I stood between the street where their car, with Jesse and Steve already in it, was parked and the front door to their trailer. Valerie slowly, gracefully walked out the door, jumping to the ground where their broken wooden steps had been. She looked up toward me with surprise, as if she had not expected me to be there. With our eyes locked together, she walked to me.
"I'll never forget you," she softly spoke to me while standing inches from me. Her beautiful blue eyes had lost their sparkle. "Please, don't ever forget about me, Tim."
"I won't," was all I said. And I never have.
She got into her car and rode out of my life forever.
There's possibly a billion different scenarios that I wish would have happened. Like haven known about her feelings before the night she left. Mostly, I kick myself for not telling her how I felt about her. Even if I never got to ever spend any more time with her, even if she had died on her way to Montana, even if she is the happiest person in the World right now, even if she has had the greatest life possible for a human to have (and I really hope she has), even if she has forgotten about me, I wish she could have known then, and know now, how I felt about her.