Time travel and rock music

Time travel has always been a very interesting subject/idea to me. The idea/concept of time in itself is enough and could take lots of time for me to write about. However, today I am thinking about a time machine. Go here and there, see, experience, learn and do what?

For now, I do not have anything so noble to write about as changing major events in history. Stopping Hitler or anything like that. Sure, I have some of those ideas or thoughts, I have lots of questions, but for now, I would like to talk about this idea I have had for many years now.

Music is huge in my life. I love rock and roll mostly and I have seen many shows. Over 120 and seen over 150 bands. What I would like to do with my time machine is go back and see some bands back in the day. Many I never got to see or to go and see them when they were just starting or at their best or their peak. Ray Charles when he was just getting started early 50‘s. How about one of those shows in the early 50’s with a very young Elvis and Johnny Cash? The Doors at the Whiskey in 1967 before their first album. The Beatles in Liverpool before they got big. Janis Joplin with Big Brother pre-1968. Bob Marley in Kingston, 1977 or ‘78. I could go on and on with a huge list. Maybe see some famous shows like Woodstock or some of the shows that I have on albums. For example, I would have loved to been in Paris to see Supertramp in 1979 for their live album “Paris.”

What about you? Who? Where? When?

anger, more and less

this is pastels. measures 22 by 33

Healing Light

So, I have actually done some creating in the past few weeks. Just finished this one tonight. Not even framed yet. Used mixed media of pastels over watercolors. I am calling it “Healing Light.”

The Beatles and me

A few days ago, we were listening to the radio at the CAS. Like we always do when I am doing a job shadow with the guys, we listened to KRRR, the “oldies” station in town. Used to be oldies meant 50’s pop/rock-n-roll, but these days, they go all the way into the mid 80’s. They have this great program, comes on at 9:00AM, called “The Top 9 at 9.” They stay with the current day (which would have been 3-20) and pick a year, then play the top nine songs on the charts for that year on that day. That day, the year was 1964. The top 3 songs, number 1,2, and 3, belonged to the Beatles. Not before, not since, has this happened. Well, it did for the Beatles again, but not for anyone else.

Will it ever happen again?

Not a new band out there right now that could master that, not unless they are still playing in a garage somewhere right now. The new stuff today is lacking. Hip hop is a bore, the rock scene blows, and rap is just horrid. However, I think the time is ripe for a band to step up and take over. Any thoughts?

When I was 10 and 11, back in 1969-70, me and 2 other guys would pretend we were the Beatles. We would lip-sink to the albums and put on shows for the girls. I was John. The night he was shot, I heard it from Howard Cosell while watching Monday Night Football. George’s death is much more emotional for me, though.

As my father likes to say, “we were raised heathen,” referring to him and his siblings. That is pretty much I grew-up. No church or Sunday school. No prayers at dinner or before bed, no Bibles in the house, no nothing other than beer and country/western music. The Beatles helped me to escape all that, but also to learn about life. About love on a deeper level, about spirituality, about God, about being a good person, about love for all. Of course, they taught Eastern beliefs and that seemed to be me then and it is now the way life should be. Even after the break-up, their music as individuals helped me to learn and grow.

Within/without

All I have ever wanted in life is to be loved. Same as everyone else. That is really truly all any of us wants. We look around for other things that we think bring us that love, but it is not true or real. That love comes from within just as much as from without. Perhaps we all already have it, just that we think we do not that we are so frightened so afraid that we push love away. Yet, that love is always there, perhaps way down deep or perhaps right under our noses, but that love is there. Yet, fear masks it, covers it, gives us the false impression that we do not have love. All any of us need do is not allow fear to blind us and fool us. That is the real trick, isn’t though?

All that I have ever wanted was to have someone love me as much as I love her. To know it is real and true and lasting. Instead, I feel fear. Fear that she will cheat as the many others before her. To lie and deceive and to leave me. Funny, ironic, that right now there is no rational reason to feel that. What we fear most will come to us, drawn like a magnate to metal.

8 years now there has been no love in my life. No gf or wife or even a sex buddy (as if that is love, right?). Yet, all around me is love. Love within me, love without me. Love from my family and friends and pets and from God and from myself. From myself? Not as easy to do at times. Getting much easier, yes, but at times, well, not so good.

Love from within, love from without.

Yoga weekend follow up

Since the big Yoga weekend and my epiphany 3 weeks ago, my life has been challenging. Some how 3 of my clients got the idea that I am the anti-Christ. All evil in their life was perceived as being by my design. Last week, my payment for services was not deposited into my account. Not only did I not get paid, but I can not pay my staff. Got a $500 cell phone bill and a collection notice for $1,500 hospital bill from 6 years ago in the past 2 weeks. My wicked cold from a month ago returned. Some other stuff happened that right now I can not nor wish to recall.

Oh, one was that the first Tuesday back, I subbed and taught the Yoga class. I had all this great stuff I was going to share with everyone, right? All that new stuff I learned. Had it all planed out. Right after we first started, just getting our breathing down, my mind went blank. Completely forgot everything. Just had to wing it.

That first week, not only did I get very sick, but the 2 wolves were fighting again. Not sure why I would want to fight myself over receiving and using such a very special gift, feeling better and all that, but I was doing it. That cold was beating me down, I got depressed and well, same ol’ same ol‘. That fight lasted a week or more.

Talked with the other person from my Yoga class here that went to the Yoga weekend same time as me. Same story with her.

In my opinion, through my life experiences, after we receive a new cooping tool, we are offered a chance to use it. For me, that chance is often the next day. Been using it and yes, it works. Just keep calm about the whole thing, some good deep diaphragmatic breaths, kept in mind it all Serves a Purpose and well… most of it has worked out and soon the rest.

Within me lately is a growing desire to take off, get some time away from my life. It worked so well before on that weekend that I have been feeling like I need more cleansing and growing and insight. Found a 16 day Yoga retreat on the internet to the Himalayas in India. Great price and Yoga all day and all night and I will be able to heal and grow and fix and… rubbish. All of that has to come from within. I can travel around the world and spend my whole life looking here and looking there and all the issues will just follow me. Life will still be here when I get back. I have the tools, just need to use them and let them do there work. That is what I have been doing and so far, so good.

So, how about if I get fixed and working, then go on that trip?

What happened to responsibility?

My parents were 50’s “Father Knows Best” types. Yes, that had it’s many flaws. One thing that has gotten lost that was not a bad thing is responsibility.

Born in 1959, I was a child in the 60’s. What a great time to be alive! Sure, I suppose we can all say that about our childhood years, right? Then came the 70’s, the “Me” generation. Suddenly, everything was all about “Me” and “who cares about anyone else as long as I get mine.” Then came the 80’s and the next thing I know everything is someone else’s fault. “I am not to blame for my actions, my parents are, the bartender is, my teachers at school made me so screwed up that how can I be to blame for my behaviors?” The 90’s? Same song and dance, only worse.

What happened to responsibility? Yes, sure, our environment, our peers, our authority figures have helped to shape us, but since when is it anyone’s fault but our own that we are irresponsible? Do we blame it on too many lawyers? Yes, the bar owners need to be more responsible, but HELLO, they did not force anyone to get drunk. Sure, our dysfunctional families have made it very tough for us. You bet, lots of us are victims.

It takes many years of hard work to get past childhood abuse or rape or extreme violence. Depression, bi-polar and all that very tough. In those cases, you bet, the perpetrator is to blame. However, in our daily life’s we should assume responsibility and heed our actions. “We are only a victim for as long as we allow ourselves to be.” Heal, morn, grow, learn, become a better person.

What I am saying here is that if you are rude or mean to others, then it is you who is to blame. You are hurting others and yourself. Life is hard enough as it is without us harming ourselves. So you were hurt too, no excuse to hurt others.

Me? You got it, I need to be responsible for my actions, my words, my behavior and not just toward others but for myself. So, yes, this blog is for me. Hey, if you do not get many readers on your blog then you need to blog for yourself, right?

One Love, One Heart, One World, One Soul. We are all ONE so we are responsible for ourselves. We are all here together so we are all responsible for everyone.