another dream

Had this interesting, very realistic and intense dream about Shanon last night. In my dream, I was able to go back in time and relive my life. I choose to go back and make sure that we had a love relationship and that we got married. I knew the old future and I was determined to make sure that if she and I had something even more special than before. Well, we got together and we had just begun to form our relationship. We were seating together and she got up to do something. When she left, I asked myself, “Will she live longer this time so we can be happy together or will she still die?” I got up to follow her and noticed that my shoes were off. I thought to put them back on, just in case she did die again and I would therefore be prepared. However, I did not put them on, just carried them with me. When I turned around, she was at the top of some high, rocky cliff. She fell. Not just feel, but bounced off many of the rocks, and hit the bottom that was full of big jagged rocks. She bounced off of those, yelling and screaming, bones cracking and landed between some very large rocks and a small tree. I ran over to her, but I knew she was already dead. However, she was still talking and moving around; like one of those stories you hear about how the person’s adrenalin keeps them moving and talking for awhile after. She had jumped back up onto her feet immediately after landing and told me she had to go home now. She began trying to climb the rocks. I told her to just stay there and I would help her. So, I sat down, and started putting on my shoes. She was already dead and I could nothing to safe her, shoes or no shoes. As I got my left one on, that is when I woke. I woke with a startle and my heart was beating very fast. It took me a very long time to get back to sleep.

In analysis: I would say it was telling me that certain things about life are predestine and will happen no matter what. My going back in time only resulted in it being worse for me because I actual witnessed her horrible death. It was worse for her, as well. The shoes are a reminder of how, at times, I ignore my intuition and thus end up not being prepared and having a harder time of it. If I had taken the time to put my shoes on before following her, would I have witnessed her death? Perhaps not, but she would have died just the same.


All day long I have felt like I lost her all over again.


Would it not be nice to go back in time and to know then what I know now? In some ways, yes, I suppose. In other ways, no, not at all.

If we knew the exact time and place and the how of our death and we knew we could not change it, would we go? I would because I think that it would only be worse and not just for myself, but others. At the least I would like to think I would, anyway.